"I only get one life and I will not let Fibromyalgia take the joy from my living it."
Thursday, March 31, 2011
beginnings of a vegetable garden
I know it seems like I've not been writing about Fibromyalgia lately. I write about being homesick and the process of foster care. But I write about it because I've been struggling lately with my depression and my emotions. I'm so emotional lately. This application for foster care has been so draining and we really haven't even started. But I can't seem to control myself. Tears come easily. All when it has to do with babies or foster care, etc. But it's not just crying. It's laughing too. In the worst times, like in church or Bible study. Somewhere you're not supposed to be laughing. I get the giggles when someone says something funny and I can't stop. I've also been bouncing my knee up and down. Many people have pointed it out to me. It's like I have all this tension that needs to come out and it's coming out in tears and giggles. I don't know if the Fibromyalgia makes this worse or if these are the emotions that all adoptive mothers go through. But I've been trying to do some things to relieve stress. My husband took me to the shooting range last weekend and I shot his new 45. That made me feel great! I was on a high after that which lasted all day. Well, I did pass out for an afternoon nap, but still felt good when I woke up. I've been working in our garden and even started my own container vegetable garden. I do feel better after we decided to change foster care agencies. Although we are starting all over, things should go faster and with a more competent agency. But I know that it's going to be an emotional ride. I will be droning on about it here some. Because depression is something that we all live with.