Saturday, October 9, 2010
Is The Whole World Down Or Just My Internet?
The other day my internet was down. I had a sudden rise in anxiety. I know it's silly, but I actually had a little panic attack. Having just moved so far away, I've really come to depend on my internet to stay in contact with the outside world. All of a sudden I could not email, facebook, check blog updates. I felt so disconnected. Yes, I could make a phone call or get in my car and leave. But I thought maybe, just maybe, Texas really did have a big bubble that they could lower down over the state and cut off communication to the outside world. What if? Surely I would know if it was the end of the world because someone would post it on facebook. Except that I can't get online to check. I remember my freshman year in college I had never even been on the internet. Can you believe it? I didn't have a cell phone. If I wanted to find a friend and they didn't answer their dorm phone I had to walk my butt across campus to find them. Two things come to mind immediately. 1) my butt was much smaller then. 2) I always remember college as the best time of my life. My panic attack didn't last long because I do realize that I have a vivid imagination and my adult brain kicks in and tells my imagination to calm down. But for a very short while that day I felt very alone. Isolated. Cut off from the world and just a wee bit scared.